God I hate flying

I actually wrote the stuff below on November 30th.

I’m about 6 hours into an 8 hour flight to Hawaii. It is my first trip to Hawaii ever so I should be jumping up and down. The problem is I hate airports and I hate sitting in airplanes. Someone please explain to me why the airport is jammed packed the Monday after Thanksgiving?! All you freaks were supposed to fly home on Sunday not Monday so you could be at work, school, or whatever it is you pretend to do on Monday.

Why can’t the Middle Eastern couple with the baby stroller get their act together as we stood in the security line for 20 minutes as opposed to waiting until we are up at the scanner to then start bumbling around in confusion?! I promptly cut in front of them. Now I asked first before doing so but it genuinely did not matter to me what the response was.

This airplane is bouncing around in turbulence quite a bit. Why aren’t the flight attendants handing out ginger snaps or crackers to help relax my queasy stomach? Why does an 8 year old girl whose legs don’t even touch the ground need to recline her seat all the way back into my gut? How much room does the squirt need? And why are you as a parent sitting next to aforementioned child, OK with this? I hate your kids. See a previous blog.

And who the hell keeps shuffling playing cards for the past six hours a few rows in front of me? WTF?! Make it stop already. How much card playing are you doing? What’s worse is the 8 year old girl has me so jammed in my seat that I can’t even get a good look at who the relentless card shuffler is.

Why is Continental repeating their inflight movies. Sitting through “The Time Traveler’s Wife” once was more than enough. I saw no reason for the movie to end the way it did except for a sad attempt by the screenwriter/director to make us care about these characters finally in the last 5 minutes of the movie. Skip it.

Here’s hoping my bag makes it on the other end. I’m truly about to be sick.