The mystery package

I opened my mailbox a few days ago and saw a white, plastic package inside. I could tell right away that it was the merchandise I'd ordered about a week ago from WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment for those that don't, but should know). That and it also said WWE shop zone on the front. As a 33 year old, African-American female, I don't quite fit the demographic for wrestling fans but my life has never been about fitting in where I'm supposed to. Anyways, my two Hardy Boyz (the greatest and cutest tag team ever) shirts were inside.

But in addition to this, I also received a smaller, flat brown package. I figured it was something small that I'd ordered and forgotten about. I ripped it open like it was Christmas morning. And what was inside you might ask? A letter from Trojan condoms thanking me for visiting their website and requesting a free sample. The package also contained a free Magnum-sized condom. I have never been to trojancondoms.com. I swear. Even if I had ever accidentally stumbled across it, I would never enter my home mailing address. So how did this happen? How is it that my mailbox where I receive my bills and send out pleasant correspondence has suddenly been converted into a sex shop?!

I went inside and began making my short list of suspects who might have gone to the website and entered my address. What did this mean? Why would someone do this? Was someone trying to send me a message? Enough wondering...I'm just going to put it out there.

To whoever sent this sample to my house,

If you think that I'm uptight and high-strung then come and say it to my face. Don't hide behind websites and anonymity. Come out and say it directly to me instead of pulling passive-aggressive stunts like this. You punk ass.

I have to write a letter to Trojan Customer Relations to prevent anymore samples being sent here without my consent. If one of my many adversaries was not the culprit, then I have a sneaky suspicion that WWE might have sold my address to Trojan. Coincidence that the packages arrived at the same time?! I think not.