I don't have much time to write and I'm at a loss for words anyway. When I'm an old lady in a rocking chair, I'll tell young whipper snappers about how I used to go to Yankee stadium and see Derek Jeter play. He is the best ever.





Midway Review

Been too busy to blog. Here we are now in June and I’m midway through 2011. Let me summarize the key events so far this year.

  • I destroyed my “life” on facebook. I lost all my teeth, wrecked my car, burned down my house due to a basement meth lab, ran off to Vegas and married a 21 year old male stripper named Ryan. He and I are in the midst of a divorce. Anyone who actually knows me would laugh this off and know that these events were all an embellishment of my imagination. Friends know me. My fundamental beef with facebook is that damned left hand column that shows you how many friends you have; that friend number that just keeps increasing…those people are not your friends. Friendship is hard; and it doesn’t or shouldn’t come easy. And what kind of an asshole actually counts how many friends they have? I highly recommend that everyone on FB watch a documentary called “Catfish”. It will open your eyes to the fact that people are not being true on this thing. They are letting us see what they want us to see. I for one have had enough. If you have something to say to me, this is where I’ll be. If you’re a friend from the distant past (e.g. high school, college) and you haven’t contacted me by now then let’s face reality. You’re never gonna and vice versa. And you know what?...that’s okay. We don’t all need to be tied to the hip until we’re six feet under. Speaking of which…does the number of FB friends you acquire get carved into your tombstone when it’s all said and done? Is that the measuring stick of a worthwhile life? I think not.
  • I had a major fork in the road of life that I had to resolve earlier this year. I applied to Columbia University’s MFA in film directing program last December. To my surprise, I got called for an interview in March and then offered acceptance a few weeks later. The program only takes 46 students a year and something along the lines of 750 people or so apply so I was really honored to be accepted. I agonized for weeks. Stay here or go back to NY. Stay here or go back. On one particular day I would have my mind made up…I’m going. Then the next day, I would do a 180. I don’t wish this type of decision purgatory on anyone. In the end, I decided not to attend Columbia. When it came right down to it and I’d made my pros and cons list, there were more cons than pros. The biggest con of all being accruing financial debt. Something I am keenly averse to. So instead of going into debt, I decided to refocus my energies. My goal is to complete the Columbia curriculum basically on my own. Granted I can’t take every class or attend every seminar but they graduate with a 3-5 minute film, an 8-12 minute film, a 20 minute thesis film and feature length screenplay. Along with 100K or so in debt. If I could do all that minus the debt then I will be a happy woman. I’ve already gotten a jump on the first requirement which brings me to #3.
  • In the midst of bellyaching about whether or not to abandon the Midwest for NY, I started casting and putting together a crew for my next short. It was actually a helpful distraction. After 3 painful nights of shooting, I got the film edited and submitted to the St. Louis Filmmaker’s Showcase. It’s called “But It Was Going So Well” and is 6 minutes long. The Showcase is in August this year instead of July. The piece will screen in the comedic shorts block starting at 9:30pm on Sunday, August 14th. I’m anxious to see how an audience responds to the film since what’s funny to me is not always funny to other people. Regardless of the reception, I learned a lot by doing and the cast/crew worked very hard under some less than ideal conditions.
  • As a result of my casting notice on craigslist, I got into a heated email battle. I may post some of it below. This chick set it off and of course I responded nastily. Then it seemed like I was getting multiple responses from different people. I started to notice different tones, spelling errors, and fonts in the messages. It was like some sort of craigslist fight club. I would email something and then it seemed to go to an inbox where several people could read it and respond. I didn’t care. As per usual, I take on all comers.
  • I’ve been playing tennis regularly. I even went to a weekend tennis camp at the University of Illinois a few weekends ago. I can’t remember the last time I was so sore. I even got blisters on my feet. What is this? Basic training?!

I decided to commit suicide...on Facebook that is

A few Sundays ago I was relaxing and decided to check in on Facebook. I hadn't been on there in a while and FB even sent me an email saying as much and begging me to come back. Slightly cultish but I figured "Sure, I'll check in."

Well, it was a combination of things that I saw in my newsfeed that basically set me off. Some idiot posted pictures of his cars "past and present". Um, why? Others have albums upon albums of baby pictures. Can we just acknowledge already that everyone's baby is cute already? For the love of God! Make it stop! I deduced that FB has basically become an internet way to play "Keep up with the Joneses". I stated as much in my status update. One of my "friends" told me to "settle down". Any friend of mine would never say this to me. While some are content to live their lives in the shade, this has never been enough for me. I kick up dirt wherever and whenever I can. Choke on it.

I'm truly amazed at how many folks post pictures of their small children for their hundreds of friends. How well do you know this horde of folks? How do you know someone in their household isn't right-clicking on those pics and saving it to their hard drive for less than decent purposes? People need to think. Furthermore, those pics, since they are posted on FB, become the property of FB. It says so right in their terms of use.

We are all liars to a certain extent on this thing. I'm lying because I pretend that I actually like you.
I probably don't. You're lying because you are presenting the best sides of your life: the good times, that happy Christmas, the days where everyone gets along. They're no status updates about your dysfunctional family, your spouse who doesn't appreciate you, or the fact that all the bills aren't getting paid. FB allows us all to have these false personas. We can be who we want to be on there. And everyone is absolutely FUCKING PERFECT.

Enough I said. I have spent the past two weeks systematically destroying my account. I've taken down photos, videos, and concocted crazy status updates. So far I have rolled my truck, it blew up, and gotten my teeth knocked out after falling off a stripper pole. None of which has happened, of course. I post false pictures of my "accidents". I realized that there are limitless possibilities with this....the story can go anywhere and believe me, it will. The point being, who's shoulder do you cry on when the going gets rough? A FB "friend" or a real person that you have real interactions with on a consistent basis?

I saw a wonderful documentary last night called "
Catfish". It is a must see for anyone doing social networking. Get it on DVD ASAP. This young NY photographer befriends a family in Michigan online. He corresponds with the mom, the half-sister, and the youngest daughter who is creating artwork based on his photos. They build a rapport but it is truly shocking what he discovers when he shows up on their Michigan doorstep. I had to watch it twice.

If you want to have friends then have real freakin' friends that know the good, the bad, and the ugly. I, for one, don't need to create a false version of myself to acquire internet "friends" that I don't really know all that well and could be just as fake as a $3 bill in their own right. And let's not forget...friendship is not easy. It takes work, compromise, and time. It doesn't happen by clicking a little blue button that says, "Add Friend".

I plan to hit "delete" on it all but not before I have a little fun.


In my universe, WWJD means what would Jeter do? It's 2011 and I have declared it to be "The Year of Idiocy". When I am frequently forced to deal with idiots at work, at the mall, in the parking lots, and all other enclaves where idiots like to mingle, in order to cope, I will ask myself, "What would Jeter do?" Would he haul off and punch someone in the face? Would he curse someone up one side and down the other? Nope. I should follow his glowing example. But in the movie, The Other Guys, he did say a bad word though....

Freakin' hilarious. Here's a funny Jeter ESPN commercial.


24/7 Penguins-Capitals: Road to the Winter Classic


I don't know much about hockey. Didn't really grow up watching it even though the Islanders played in the Nassau Coliseum not 20 minutes from the house where I grew up. Around the year 2000, I took up playing in a womens' rec ice hockey league when I lived in Spokane, Wa. I had played field hockey in high school so how hard could it be? OMG. You have no idea the endurance needed to skate one hockey shift. I moved from Spokane, didn't pursue playing again, and so there's hockey gear in my basement. I've seen a few minor league games live, one Islanders game live, and that basically sums up my ice hockey exposure. Without the use of google, I couldn't even tell you who won the Stanley Cup last year.

I was flipping through the channels after I got back from Christmas holiday and saw HBO's latest new documentary series about the buildup to the Penguins vs. Capitals Winter Classic. I had no idea that on New Year's, the NHL plays a winter classic outside. This show takes you into the locker rooms, the practices, the games, the refs, the penalty boxes and the player homes of these two rival NHL teams. And believe me when I say, it is
riveting. I can't turn this stuff off.

Hockey players are downright intriguing. The same dude that's missing teeth and brawling on the ice is a devoted father and goes home to kiss his wife and play with his kids. They all accept that fighting is part of the hockey culture. In fact, they will even discuss with someone they are about to square off with whether the fight should be helmets on, gloves on or off, etc. They curse a lot. It doesn't matter what their native country is, they all know the f-word. The worst offender is the Washington Capitals head coach, Bruce Boudreau. I was stunned at how often he dropped the f-bomb to his players during practice, during the intermissions, post-game, whenever. It looks like HBO has gone back and edited the swear words from the program since the original broadcast. I wonder did the NHL apply some pressure on them to do this.

In contrast, the head coach of the Pittsburgh Penguins, Dan Bylsma, is more cerebral. Sure, he curses here and there. It wouldn't be hockey without it but he's articulate and calm. There's no yelling or antics. His coaching style is methodical. He's the real star of the show to me. A forty year old guy who coaches a sport where jaws are broken and black eyes are commonplace yet still goes home to help make Christmas dinner. His wife makes him wear padded gloves so he won't burn his hands while handling the turkey. He plays X-box with his son and does a little disco dance with him when the video game playing is going well. He is tough at the appropriate times and tender at the right times. When Bylsma is on screen, I find myself saying,"That's a man right there." In a world where men are becoming too feminized, in my opinion, it is refreshing to see a guy who has found the perfect balance between masculinity and sensitivity. If the Penguin players are the knights of the round table then Bylsma is King Arthur.


Here's one last observation about hockey players. These kids are millionaires yet you would never know it. They aren't as flashy as other athletes (cough, cough NBA). They are grounded. More accessible. The top star on the Capitals lives in a fairly modest home with his parents despite having a multimillion dollar contract. These guys are taking pucks to the face and getting banged up like pro-wrestlers yet they accept it as a part of the sport. Just patch me up so I can get back at it. The coaching is much more hands on. Boudreau and Bylsma don't have a hitting coach or an offensive coordinator. They are on the ice with the players running drills during a practice. Just like high school. That's part of hockey's charm.

This 4-part series will be great for the NHL. HBO Sports has done their usual outstanding work. The editing, cinematography, and storytelling are excellent. It has made me want to watch the Winter Classic when before this show I had know idea what it was. Hockey often gets relegated below the MLB, NFL, and NBA but we can't forget how hard these guys are working. It's time we all started paying more attention. Now I just need somebody to give me an extra ticket to a Blues game.




So I've been saying "Really?!" quite a bit lately. It has become my new favorite phrase.

I was driving home at the beginning of November; I mean it was the 2nd or 3rd day of the month. Halloween had just happened. Some idiot down the street from me had already put up their freakin' Christmas lights and had them turned on.

Really?! First, I cursed in my car at this house with lights blasting before we've even had Veterans' Day. Then I rolled my window down and yelled at the house.

"Christmas lights already? Really?! Losers!!!"

A male voice, probably the dad who had just completed this masterpiece, responded with a nasily, "Get a job."

I cracked up laughing. I've got a job bro. That's why I'm not out putting up Christmas lights on a freakin' Wednesday.

In the rush to get to Christmas, Veterans' Day is lost in the shuffle. The Christmas decorations for each town go up on the light poles first then a flag is tossed in front, possibly, as an after thought. At least, that's what O'Fallon, IL did this year. Thanksgiving is irrelevant. It's now the day before Black Friday.

I'm as guilty as the next person of loving a good exhausting Black Friday day of shopping. But what is it with all these pre-Black Friday sales? Really?! It has gotten completely out of control. As of this writing, I have declared that I probably won't even go out for Black Friday this year. Never thought I would say something so shocking but it's true. Nothing is peaking my interest. I'll just stay in and save my money. Really.